I live in a suburb of Boston, and I’m a little amazed with the new Carhartt fashion trend that’s going on, or has already happened. I don’t keep up with the latest trends so I’m not sure if it’s already over. But this one is particularly perplexing to me because I can’t think of two worlds with less in common. Carhartt, which embodies the working class in my mind. People who know what putting in a twelve hour day at jobs most of us only read about or see on reality T.V. shows feels like. And the other, the fashion world with designer clothing lines like Channel or Louis Vuitton. Companies selling a lifestyle of excess and idleness. But look good doing it? Again, my opinion. But these ideas/ideals just don’t add up to me. Though you’d need to work as hard as those who wear Carhartts to afford the designer’s labels.
I’m not trying to throw shade at the fashion industry, or to judge one lifestyle more virtuous than another (Ok, maybe a little), I’m only observing that these two worlds couldn’t be further apart. I’m trying to imagine my old boss, who owned an apple orchard, walking into a gala (pun intended) for some designer’s new clothing line in their pair of Carhartt overalls, that are all but hanging on by a thread, covered in cider and pie dough after an insanely busy season at her orchard. I just can’t imagine it. Though, that seems to be what’s happening. But where did this trend come from? I have a guess that I want to share. It all started in a little town, Waco, Texas, with Chip and Joanna Gains.
Telling Their Story? Or Selling Them Their Story?
I watched “Fixer Upper” when it first aired and couldn’t get enough. Sure, the relationship between the Gains’ family was endearing, but Joanna has great taste and I love good design. For the record, I think design is important. Not only for how we feel in a pair of well fitting jeans (or overalls), and the impact it has on our self esteem, but also how we feel steeped in our built environments. Neighborhoods, jobs, houses… I talked about this some in my last post on using the laundromat as a clean and pleasant place to organize your life and emotional world. But there’s something that Joanna says often on the show that sat a little funny with me. She says she’s “designing a home that tells your story”.
Whose Story are We Telling?
Joanna says that they are trying to tell the story of the city by renovating the buildings in it. Bringing them back to life while telling the story of the families living in them. But when she’s talking about what her and Chip are doing for the city, i.e. gentrifying it, I can’t help but feel like I’m being sold their story of what the “perfect” city and it’s homes/residents SHOULD be, and look like. The way she wants to tell it, without blemish.
She also looks a little overwhelmed and fearful while she’s “in her element”. A look like it could all fall apart if she lets go of control for even a moment. Her fear pulsing just below the surface, dictating her decisions, direction and actions. I know something about pressure in the work place, and that pressure looks all too familiar.
I worked at restaurants in Salem MA, during the Halloween season. We were literally serving hundreds, if not thousands of people a night. You could look down Derby St., in the heart of Salem where I worked, and see nothing but peoples heads, moving in slow currents down the street. I’ve also worked at MGB, on one of the busiest floors. 40 Patients with a revolving door. The difference between the types of pressure I’ve experienced, and what I’m seeing in Joanna is, I think, that while I was in both my roles, I knew what I was doing, but I was supported. Surrounded by people who were scared, but knew who they were, and how to accept others and their uniqueness. What I’m saying is, there’s good pressure, accepting others support and uniqueness, even if it doesn’t fit our aesthetic, and pressure that erodes your core self, i.e. being a perfectionist.
And I won’t go into the reasons why gentrification are so harmful to communities, but it’s something worth looking into if you’re interested in social justice. Here’s a link to an article that talks about it.
Chip, on the other hand, seems in his element while building. He has an energetic, playful, yet peaceful presence while under pressure. I think it has to do with allowing what is, to be, without trying to control every detail. Chip can go with the flow, while Joanna is still grasping at control. And I know something about grasping.
“Real Recognize Real & You Lookin’ Familiar“
I’ve said before that I was raised by women who were told their value was based solely on how attractive they are. My grandmother was a model in the 50’s, and was validated every step of the way for focusing on her appearance, rather than emotional development and her passions. But this was, and I believe still is, very much the norm in our culture. And you don’t live 19 years, steeped in this mentality without assimilating some of its values.
So when I see the grimace on Joanna’s face, I recognize that look. From the faces of the women in my family, and myself. It’s the feeling of terror that comes with the lack of control. But what are we trying to control? For me, I think it’s about how other people perceive how hard I work and perfect/attractive I was.
Style Disguised as Work Ethic
I think what I’m recognizing as familiar is, that if I don’t work the hardest, be the manliest man, i.e. one that’s always in charge with unquestionable authority and looks the part, able to shoulder the responsibility for not only myself, but women and children because they are “inherently weaker” then… Then what? No one ever told me what would happen if I decided to break free from the “man code” that was surreptitiously foisted on me, or trust the talented women in my life for support. But I knew that it would all fall apart if I released control. I don’t know what being a man truly meant without the bravado the men in my family or culturally embodied. Because being true to who we are, to our individuality, is feared for some undefined reason. But we sure did have to work hard to keep up the facade. And some of that is wearing Carhartt.
Fashion as Substitute for Character
I think what happens with these popular trends is, someone admires a characteristic they see in someone, celebrity or influencer. Someone wears, or does a certain thing that is strongly associated with their presence. People want to be associated with the traits they admire in their role model, to be like them, so they dress like them. The idea is like the old phrase, dress for the job you want. They don’t know how to cultivate these desired traits, so as a shortcut to embodying the admired characteristics, they copy their style. I think because they’re too afraid to foster their own unique selves. Or truly want to be like them, but too afraid to ask how to get there.
Like the way Carhartt’s are associated with hard work because the clothing is built to withstand the demanding and punishing work the people who wear them do. I think most people want the rewards that come with hard work, but don’t know how to cultivate the discipline, want to put the hours in, or even who to talk to or where to begin if they have the drive. So they buy clothing to look the part. Or in Joanna’s case, the more organized and beautiful the house, the more calm and organized the person. But as Tyler Durden says in “Fight Club”, “Sticking feathers up your but does not make you a chicken.”
Violence as a Fashion Trend
Speaking of “Fight Club”, the movie has the same message that I’m trying to explore and endorse here with “Fixer Upper” and the Gains’s. Kind of. I say kind of because Fight Club’s package is reject homogenized style architypes and be unapologetically you. But every scene in that movie is designed to make you want to be the man Brad Pitt is playing. Which is based on aesthetics (not to mention domestic terrorism). For example, the robe Pitt wears retails for $162. I know because I bought one. And what man didn’t want to look like Brad Pitt from “Fight Club” or now, Chris Pratt from “Captain America”. But it’s all smoke and mirrors.
What many of us completely missed, including myself, was that Pitt’s character is the antagonist in the movie. The message that the movie is trying to convey is that consumerism and looking attractive aren’t the highest forms of ourselves. And Pitt’s character is the embodiment of Norton’s ideal man according to the ads that Pitt claims to reject, abs and all, and what Pitt’s Tyler is railing against with his project mayhem. The reason why I was so drawn to his character was because I was told to be like Pitt’s Durden, and conform to the man code’s violent ideals. Style without substance.
But Pitt, at the end of the film, when Ed Norton’s Tyler realizes what’s been happening says, “Hey, you created me. I didn’t create some loser alter ego to make myself feel better”. This line solidifies his image obsession. He’s essentially declaring that Ed’s character isn’t enough of a man on his own. He needs Pitt’s Durden to have efficacy. To be a man. Even though it was Norton’s character that did everything he attributed to Pitt all along, just without the abs. Yet we still strive to emulate Pitt’s Tyler (me included), and not Norton’s because Pitt is sexier. The abs. And we all know where that path leads. Domestic terrorism (;
Pulling Yourself Through the Mirror
I’m joking about the terrorism, but it’s true that focusing solely on image will lead to a rejection of who you really are, and the of fear I recognize in Joanna Gains. The Justin Timberlake song, “Mirrors” has always held a special place in my heart for the above reasons. Essentially what I get from that song is that we have to pull ourselves through the image of who we think we need to be to be loved, when all we really have to do is see through the reflection in the mirror, i.e. our expectations, to our true selves, then love that person. The best way to do this is by letting go the standard you feel you need to fulfill. I’ve noticed that I mostly felt them in the form of social pressures, the man code, and “shoulding on myself”. Once you let go and get to know yourself, love will follow. Easier said than done, but worth the endeavor.
And I think this is where Joanna is, where Norton’s Tyler was, and what I’ve come through. Who was on the other side of that mirror. We all have one. And it can be like a prison that we don’t know how to leave. But like Rumi says, “Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open.” We just have to realize that we can leave, then leave. But we’ll need to make a lot of important changes to come home to our true selves. Next post I’ll go over some actionable steps to pull yourself through, that helped me to leave my prison, and hopefully give you some ideas if you’re ready to make the change. Until then, Peace & Thanks for Reading (: 🏔️🌙🕯️
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