^{Feature Image Credits: “Final decisions for the target reader from our advertising analysis. Magazine reveal= ESPN magazine. Were we right @espn ?#marketing #advertising #demographics #juniors #mediastudies” by MsC’sClassroom is licensed under CC BY 2.0.}

This post is the first in a series, and is something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. It goes back to my teenage and early 20’s morals. It was also the impetus of my first blog, “No Labels Living”. The idea was solid; identify the influences/ers that are controlling our lifestyle choices, and how they are related to what’s being sold to us, trends, T.V. shows, new hangouts to name a few, by society, family and friends. But I’ll be exploring whatever offers a sense of belonging. I wrote about this some on my “About the Author” page when I said, “Because I was surrounded by family who bought into the image obsession that is peddled to us by society, as a way to buy mass produced unique authenticity.” Our idea was sound, be ourselves and belong. But our angle was limited and coming from a fearful place with a jaded perspective. Which makes sense because we were still operating with the emotional capacity of teenagers.

Now that I’m more enlightened I’m able to separate the angsty undertones of my former beliefs from their foundation: That you CAN’T buy the image of happiness you seek. You can buy the pieces, but you have to draw the blueprint then put the work in and build it yourself. Only you know what you truly like and how to achieve it. There is no easy answer or prepackaged, authentic you 😉 But fortunately, once you find what makes you happy the work becomes fun. That’s how Boho Hippy Homes was born, when I found the work I love to do. So, you’re probably dying to know what this post is about. Well, let’s jump in.

Did You Sell Out, Buy In, Or Take The Path Less Traveled?

There’s a line from the movie, “SLC Punk!” that I think of often. It goes, “Just remember son, I didn’t sell out, I bought in.” To me these phrases are the same, but I think buying in may be worse. If you buy in, you’re willfully running to something that feels wrong without critical thinking why, because you’re too afraid of the responsibility of autonomy. Basically you’re afraid of chasing what you love for fear of _____, so you run to whoever promises safety in belonging, which you probably know is a lie, but don’t want to know why. Ignorance is bliss. That way you can scapegoat whatever threatens you from the safe distance of the “cool kids’ table” so you don’t have to ask what makes you cool, or “better than others”. Rumi describes this as the, “…Tangle of fear thinking“. But hey, it’s better to be scared together?

If you sell out on the other hand, you were on the path less traveled already but were enticed to join the other side. You weren’t scared to go against the fearful groupthink and be yourself, by yourself in the past. So having been authentic once you are more likely to be able to find your way back.

In these posts I’ll be exploring what we’re being sold to feel belonging. Have you ever looked over at the “cool kids” table and wonder why they’re so desirable? I have. Why do we want to be like them, hangout with them, live the lives they do, and own what they own? Most of the answers are simple I think, it’s their confidence we’re after. We think they like who they are and are comfortable in their own skins. It’s also the subject of many a film and songs. The message is perennial because each generation has to learn it fresh. If we’re lucky enough to learn it at all. Here’s a quick breakdown of what I’ll be looking at:

What are we expected to do to reserve a seat at the “cool Kids” table? What’s being sold to us that’s “cool”? Is it sex appeal? Flawless skin? Who you’re seen with and where? All of the above? What exactly is it we must have and who’s selling what we need?

What are we expected to buy? We’re inundated with ads that tell us, “YOU HAVE TO HAVE THIS YEARS _____!!!!” on every media platform. My question is, how often are we expected to buy each item, eat at the hottest bars/restaurants, go on the perfect vacation… What will make us the ideal consumer? Or as advertisers put it, how do we buy belonging and make others envy us by what we own?

What are the talking points we are being sold as acceptable? We all gather around at work or school and talk about what’s happening. With us, who’s on the outs, what we’re watching, angers and frustrations… My question is what are we being sold as safe to talk about. Or what will make us look cool and why?

What’s the media everyone’s consuming? What are your friends, or more importantly, the cool kids listening to, watching, scrolling…? Who chooses what’s popular and why? Is it what you like? Or do you want to feel how you imagine the cool kids feel when they’re watching or listening to whatever their selling you?

The topics of these articles will change and evolve with whatever is trending, since what is “cool” is always changing.

_{^{“Demographic Targeting 3” by jotelleva is licensed under CC BY 2.0.}}

Remove the Target.

My goal is simple, help people explore what they like and are like by exploring the trappings of modern day, capitalist lifestyles. Simple, not easy, as the saying goes. The odds are not in your favor when it comes to cultivating authenticity. People with a lot of power and money are trying to mold you into the “ideal consumer” by making you believe they are superior, and then selling you a seat at the cool kids’ table.

But that’s the rub. They are selling to YOU. YOU have the power they need. They need YOU to make them popular. They need YOU to post their products on your socials. They hire influencers to spread their names all over YOUR feeds. And we don’t even know if they actually like what they’re being paid to sell us. Influencers may have a lot of money, but are they really happy? If they look like they’ve smelled something terrible every time they’re judging someone who doesn’t meet their impossible standards? I’m guessing no. They are the only one’s who can meet their standards. That sounds lonely to me.

And there’s nothing wrong with liking what’s popular, IF that’s what you really like. Shopping at Target isn’t the issue. The issue is shopping at Target because you don’t like the kinds of people that shop at Walmart.

I’m excited about this project. It’s really at the core of what Boho Hippy Homes is all about, finding what really feels like home. So friends, I hope you’ll join me on this journey. It may feel weird at first, coming home to your authentic self, but like finding the work you love to do, finding out who you really are is fun too. Peace & Thanks For Reading : )⛰️🌙