^{Cover Photo, “The Pied Piper Exterminators Inc” by Thomas Hawk is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0.}

Hi all. I’m sure I’m sounding like a skipping CD with all the crazy stuff that I’ve been writing about lately, but these things keep happening to me, and I’m not sure why. Let me tell you about the latest instalment of what’s been going on and let you be the judge of what’s right.

Notification of Restriction to Beverly City Hall, AKA Restraining Order

I was having breakfast when I received a call from the police department asking if they could come by and deliver a paper to me. I said sure, and not ten minutes later they came to my door and handed me a “notification of restriction to Beverly City Hall”. I asked why and the officer said it was because there was a pile of rat feces left on the city hall steps with a note. And they said they had cameras that caught me doing it, and later came back and took photos of it.

When I read the restraining order, they went on to say that I had also emailed the constitutes director asking for updates and joking about releasing rats in city hall. The joke was in poor taste I’ll admit, but my intentions were good. If they had asked me not to joke around, I would have complied, but they responded seldom and at times not at all or with hostility. I was trying to set people at ease a little with humor (I think I’m funny,) be playful.

They also said that I was hanging out outside the mayors office for not more than an hour for a handful of days. I did go to the mayor’s office for not more than an hour because no one was returning my emails, and I had an extra hour in the mornings to sacrifice to the cause of rat extermination. I thought maybe if I go to the mayor’s, Mike’s office, I’d have a better chance of catching him between meetings. But again I was ignored. I mostly read, and sometimes talked to the staff about their interests, small talk. And I did eventually get a meeting with Mike, but I don’t think I would have gotten one without going to city hall everyday because of how I was being ignored. I decided to go in the days before the meeting also, to see if we could meet earlier. I’m a busy person, and I’m sure Mike is too. I thought if he had time it would be most efficient to get it out of the way sooner. But they had a problem with that as well saying that even after I got the appointment I still went to city hall. I guess I didn’t know city hall had visiting hours.

They stated “After approximately ten minutes you abruptly ended the meeting and left city hall.” I did leave the meeting abruptly. I asked the mayor six questions. The mayor’s answer to each unique question was a failed, and incoherent attempt at answering my first and I didn’t want to assume that he was willfully avoiding my questions, so I left feeling that he couldn’t or wouldn’t answer my questions. I’m not sure what about this, or any of what they wrote that I did, warrants a restraining order.

I did take photos of the feces on city hall’s steps and posted it on Facebook because I thought it was a funny/clever way to illustrate what was happening with the current rat infestation situation. Also it looked like squirrel feces to me (squirrel feces is larger than rat’s,) but funny none-the-less. And I got the intended message, that it’s hard to ignore something when it’s right in front of you and for all to see. Exactly what I feel is happening with the administration.

Because the message I got from the restraining order is that the mayor is not Ok with me being in city hall because I’m trying to draw attention to the rat situation that most everyone, except most of the constitutes, is trying desperately to sweep under the rug for fear of not seeming perfect is my guess. But I could be wrong, and maybe it has to do with mismanaging the city’s pest control program. That would explain why they still haven’t sent me a copy of the itemized invoice from A1 Exterminators even though I’ve asked for it maybe a half dozen times. I wrote about this in my last post, Rats.

But the bottom line is I feel like they’re trying to intimidate me. Why else would they say that making small talk and waiting outside the mayor’s office are actions that warrant a restraining order? I also looked up the consequences for leaving animal feces on public property and it’s usually a $50 fine. I already know that there is a possible $500 fine for having rats in the first place. Does that include the possible $50 fine for animal feces being on the property where the rats are? And if so, if it’s on city property shouldn’t that fine be paid by city hall? I guess it’s coming out of our taxes anyway so we’d still be responsible for it. And if city hall is cited for having rats, do we pay that fine as well? I don’t know the answers to these questions but one thing’s for sure, I can’t ask because I’ve been banned from city hall.

What really gets me is that they cited me for asking about coffee preferences as an offence worthy of filing a restraining order. The reason I asked about morning beverages was because I told one of the secretaries that I’m going to spruce up their coffee station because it looks a little sad : ( I know I wouldn’t want to get my coffee at a station that looks all disheveled. And what’s worse is, they have to get their own coffee. Because if they ask a coworker if they want some because they’re making a run, they may get a restraining order put on them 😉

What Are the Expectations?

_{This section is more social commentary at large, but I feel it ties in with the unspoken status-quo that I feel I’m being held to by city hall. So I’m asking you, reader, to give me a little leeway.}

I was talking with a friend while we were on our way to Nubian Sq. in Roxbury, when we drove by Lynnfield Marketplace. We both agreed it feels too perfect. It’s disquieting. It’s the same feeling that I get when someone is trying to sell me something that I “need to have” in order to “fit in” that is really just a trend, which usually isn’t in line with my tastes. This scares me.

I’m not concerned with fitting in. I never have been, or have. What does worry me is that some feel they need to pressure others to submit to what they think is “acceptable,” to feel safety in belong. Even if it’s forcing belonging against someone’s will. But hey, safety in numbers? I think those forcing (the ones in charge,) feel they have confirmation that they’re doing the right thing because others comply with their “perfect opinion” (because there’s only room for one.) To me, this is the definition of peer pressure. But I’m only guessing at their motives.

A small scale example of this in action is, I was talking with a different friend about dating and flirting. We were talking about the difference between finding a woman attractive and talking to them honestly (talking about the tough issues like rats directly), as opposed to when a person walks by, pretending not to care who sees them, but is hoping to be checked out (denial of the rat issue by avoiding the conversation, pretending it’s not an issue.)

The difference is, when you recognize beauty, you appreciate it more when you get to know the person. Honesty and intimacy. That’s the foundation of strong connection. Both acknowledging each other’s feelings and intentions, and communicating them.

But when you’re motivated by seeking validation for how “hot” you look by ignoring someone (man, woman or other,) when you walk by, hoping for an unspoken validation of being acceptable, what I believe is happening is that there is a unspoken power dynamic that states, “you want what I have,” cooperation in resolving the rat issue, “but I don’t need you,” nosing around getting in our way of solving the problem by asking questions because we have it under control.

And this all happens in a matter of moments, or the time it takes to talk about a solution. It illustrates that the intention is really about wanting attention and needing validation for how hot they look, or capable the mayor looks, without being vulnerable enough to make a true connection by getting to know someone over time, or working together to solve a problem for fear of being judged not capable enough or in control. Which is what they really want, to be liked for how perfectly capably they are and don’t need help or to be told differently. Otherwise why would it matter what someone you will most likely never see again, thinks of you because you’re not planning on getting to know them?

And whose standard of beauty, or problem solving methods, are we using? I believe it’s the above, agreed upon status quo and not the rational democratic process, the only difference is that in my case the administration is pretending to honestly care. Passive aggressively and callously disregarding my emotions and input to solve the problem, all the while smiling and saying they care and want to hear me out. From my perspective, Mike is playing victim, all the while passive aggressively trying to control the situation by making me the scapegoat and sweeping the problem under the rug.

So when someone bucks that system, say by leaving a pile of what looks like squirrel feces disguised as rat feces, denial of the real issues by pretending everything is picture perfect is uncovered, and restraining orders ensue. Or their shame of feeling that the messy situation is a direct reflection of their inability to control the situation, so rather than confront it, they sweep it under the rug, or wherever they put the feces, with smiles, deception and restraining orders.

Why This Matters, Not My Circus, Still My Monkeys?

What’s so maddening about this is that it’s the subject of almost every movie that’s ever had a redeeming value to it. The message is not new yet we seem to be relearning it perennially. I don’t understand what’s so difficult about doing the right thing. And what’s worse is that whenever I bring the topic up, if it’s casual conversation everyone agrees, “do the right thing!” But when the time comes to act, to do the right thing, everyone runs from the responsibility. Usually because is no easy. Their answer is to target and blame the person trying to change things for the better by going against the status quo, so they can go on living in denial. This isn’t always the case, but from my experience as of late, it’s the norm.

When I try to do the right thing and get targeted as a threat to the established system, whatever the groups motivation is for ignoring the issue and avoiding accountability, I’m left dealing with three difficult situations,

1. The issue hasn’t been solved

2. I’m now acutely aware of others’ dis-ease and feel bad because they’re possibly feeling guilty for not wanting to do the right thing because they’re afraid of the responsibility and being held accountable, which leads to shame. So they avoid it and…

3. Ostracizing me because I’m brave enough to stick up for what’s right. They send the message that I do not belong because I’ve upset the status quo. I.e. the unspoken expectations, which is denial of the issue.

“Damn Little Mans I’m Just Tryin’ to Do Me” – Jay-Z

I’m still gonna do me. I’m not looking for a fight, nor do I wish anyone ill will. But I will not join their reindeer games. Because to me, being passive aggressive is a form of violence. It hurts. I’m going to do what makes me feel good and what I know to be right. Which is continue to try to get the mass of rotting rats, and God knows what else, out from under my shed. So my neighbors’ kids can play in the yard without picking up rat traps filled with poison and handfuls of rat droppings. Lest we forget, The Plague. But the rats won’t just leave my yard. We need to do something as a city to take care of the problem. So, Mike, this is your chance to shine. How are we going to get rid of these rats? I’m all ears. And I’m still planning on sprucing up the coffee station. That is unless they take out another restraining order on me. But I promise my design sense isn’t that bad. Just let me know what you like to drink. I’m a tea drinker myself ( ; Peace & Thanks for Reading : )⛰️🌙🐀🏦